It took me 30 minutes to get this chicken, cheese and black bean quesadilla. I stood behind this beautiful girl that constructed this Goliath of a sandwich that literally shone gold when the sandwich guy cut it in half.
That’s a beautiful sandwich. I can’t believe how beautiful that sandwich is.
The sandwich guy smiled really big when I complimented his abilities to construct such an amazing thing.
It’s my turn. He tells me they’re out of black beans.
Shit. Chicken and cheese will not impress this artist that just created such a beautiful sandwich.
My insides grumble. I’ve had 22 minutes to think about this and I’ve got nothing.
Uhhhhhhhh. Extra cheese then… And bacon… And chipotle… And cheese.
I blew it.
I grab some pineapple to convey the light air of a good decision maker. I apologize that my makeshift quesadilla isn’t as beautiful as the Goliath sandwich of previous, happier times. He smiles at me and cheese begins to bleed out of his hairline. Just kidding. He does smile at me though. I can tell he’s just kind of like what?
I decline the pickle with my usual untruth of no thank you, I don’t have gum today.
I’m eating this chicken and cheese and black bean quesadilla minus the black beans plus twice the cheese plus bacon plus chipotle and I am kind of drowning. I’m alone by the window. It’s Friday afternoon and there are few workers here to judge me. Something starts to happen and I find myself tangled up in strings on strings on strings of cheese. It’s all over me. It’s stuck to my chin.
15 minutes pass and I scratch my face and find dried cheese. I tweet
I admit, 15 minutes does not equal hours but it feels the same when you’re eating lunch alone. That is not only a picture of a precious furby, it is a gif, and a hilarious one at that. Finding the furby gif really, really rocked my world. View the full experience here. Sitting alone by the window, cry laughing / laugh crying into this chicken and cheese and black bean quesadilla minus the black beans plus twice the cheese plus bacon plus chipotle, remembering all of the furbys I have loved before, the absurdity of this entire situation becomes clear.
Just as I try to bring myself back to sanity, I overhear a middle aged man 4 tables away from me telling an uninterested mom about fan fiction and cosplay.
and I realize that lunch could always, always be weirder.